The Slow and Slothful Rise of Athleisure Wear

I know you’re not working out because I’m not working out.

Yes, we both have these stretchy pants on. And these pink tank tops. And we both have these trainers on. And neither of us have a lick of make up on – actually I do, I came out the womb screaming because I needed mascara, I never leave the house without it – but, we are not working out.

What we are doing is actively avoiding wearing the clothes we used to wear out –  to coffee shops and restaurants and grocery stores – and  pretending to have worked out, or to be going to work out. But really we will not work out. No, the only active thing we will do today is be supporting the rise of what is now known as the “Athleisure Wear” category.

Yes, us humans have done another amazing thing.  It seems we have created an entirely new category of clothing, and an entirely new word, just so we don’t have to work out.  But mainly so we don’t have to get dressed in real clothes anymore.  We can go anywhere in patterned lycra!  Too bad we already went to the moon, ha?

I want to talk about this “Athleisure” term. I first heard it come out the mouth of surgeon friend of mine who saves lives every day. I thought she was making the term up, but being the well read person that she is – she’s a surgeon and she reads this blog, enough said – she told me “athleisure” was in fact a real term. I was both relieved that she hadn’t made it up because surgeons should concentrate when saving lives and leave ridiculous word combinations to people like me – and horrified that there was now a term that essentially makes it okay to walk around in sweats and never sweat.

Of course I sprang into action, sat in my yoga pants, put my feet up and did some serious working out as to where this term came from. The New York Times told me its actually been around since 1976, and as of three months ago was added to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary. Basically we have been trying to get away with wearing sweats everywhere in public since 1976, and we have finally legitimized it. I clearly missed this big news along with the inclusion of “WTF”.

Even the term itself is so lazy it only takes a few letters of “Athletic” and lazily gives up before the finish line.  It’s like it was saying, “Here Leisure, take my letters and make them yours, just as long as it’s on a sofa.” Or maybe the term is actually really honest. Mostly leisure with a little athle… oh I’m exhausted thinking about that, I need a rest.

So you don’t have to get up to read the official definition it as follows: “Casual clothing designed to be worn both for exercising and for general use.” The definition is also so leisurely it can’t be bothered to add any further specificity than “general use”. Or maybe the folks defining the word sat around in basketball shorts and sweats and made a pact that no one could ever know they weren’t leaving the Merriam-Webster building to work out, they were going to KFC and maybe watching ‘The People vs OJ Simpson’. Maybe one person said she did light vacuuming in her athleisure gear but everyone else said, “Um, that’s not glamorous, let’s just say ‘general use’ and go home.” And then they all talked about the price of athleisure gear and how if you pay $150 for Tory Sports lycra pants you should really go out in them – at least to KFC –  not vacuum.

Yes it seems we happily pay $150 for stretchy pants, and an entire athleisurely outfit for over $500. No wonder we don’t want to sweat in them.  We want to go to Nobu.

Even more digging on the term gave me the million dollar figures on how the category is growing. I’m told by Forbes this is in one part because of the emphasis on a fitness conscious lifestyle and in another part because of a desire for comfort.

Aha! And we are back full circle.

We are not working out.  We are just comfortable. As a human race we have indeed fervently, and energetically put all our efforts into creating an entire industry and classification so that we can be comfortable, and live on the neoprene pink trimmed edges of sport without actually doing sport. In short we have outfits we don’t feel bad about ourselves in when go to buy chips from the corner store, and we can look amazing in at Wholefoods. And the fashion industry has whole new ranges of clothing they can make from lycra, put “Sports” on the label of and we’ll buy for prices that will only ever make our bank accounts lean.

Now I’m not saying we all have to be working out all the time (The People vs OJ is on!) but I am saying I do sort of miss people going to restaurants, and coffee shops and hell, even the grocery store, in real clothes. Is it so much effort?

Last week I went to the theater.  I sat next to a woman who was wearing lycra pants.  The fact that an ensemble of actors would make an effort for her entertainment for ninety minutes was not worth the effort of her getting dressed in real pants.  She’d decided to rather be comfortable.   I love a good pair of sweat pants, yoga pants, exercise pants, and I’ll pay good money for them but I’m with Karl Lagerfeld who famously said, “Sweatpants are a sign of defeat.” When we go out, we should really not look defeated.

Also, let’s never forget Crocs became a thing because of comfort.  And now they have a flagship store in Soho, New York amidst Chanel and Prada.  Granted they were not in a million cute designs and didn’t hug our butts, but…

Okay I really need a nap now, if only I had some great new athsleeper wear. Yes I trademarked that.

 

PS Did I mention really smart surgeons (read: one surgeon) subscribe to this blog? You should too. I’d appreciate it. You can read it in your athleisure gear, I don’t really care. I don’t care if you don’t even read it. Just subscribe. The People vs OJ is on!

Also.  Karl  Lagerfeld recently made a line of “Athleisure Wear”.  But it’s mostly totes and pencil skirts.  Keep flying the flag Karl.